Nice poster, good inspiration stuff until I can write an one shot about it.
Please God
I just want more time,
please.
I slept on the bed and looked up at her. She had come with an apple and then, put it on the table next to my bed. I could see the redness of the apple from the side of my eyes.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” she cheerfully chanted.
She took a fruit knife on the bed and started peeling the skin out.
“Do you know that there was a legend saying that if you peel an apple in one go at exactly midnight in front of the mirror, you will see your future husband?” she said while peeling carefully with her head down.
I tried to smile.
“I had tried and I didn’t see you,” she said with a laugh.
She popped the slices of apple into her mouth and then, chewed on the crispy apple.
“It is so delicious. Do you want some?” she asked.
I was leaning against the bed. She was wiping my back which was covered with sweat. When she was done, she placed me in a wheel chair and walked me around the building.
“Jun Su? I am sorry,” she apologised as she squatted down in front of me.
Her bright, round eyes were glimmering with tears as I saw my own reflection in her eyes.
Don’t cry.
It is ok.
She smiled stupidly at me and I tried to reach her eyes to wipe it off. Or maybe do something which was more befitting me, pinched her cheek to annoy her. I tried but I can’t. She leaned forward and give me a gently peek at the lips.
I tried to smile.
She started blushing.
“It looked like I was taking advantage of you when in the beginning it was you who had taken advantage of me,” she said.
“Do you remembered this day, exactly five years ago?” she whispered.
How could I have forgotten? It was our wedding day.
Our wedding was very beautiful. I could still remember every details of it. Having you beside me official was something I could dream of. Do you remember that I had wanted to have a soccer team made up of our boys? You were complaining that I was treating you as a birth giving machine and I cuddled the angry you in my arms to comfort you. Soon, the angry dissipated into the air and we could always found the warm sensation in our hearts as we stared into one another.
Every time, when I walked down the road, reminiscing the I DOs, I smiled unknowningly.
At least I tried to smile.
Why are you asking me all this?
Li Yin, ah …
Stop walking the path to the past.
“Jun Su, I love you,” she said.
Me too.
She cried at my bedside as if I wasn’t going to wake up again. Han Kyung tapped her shoulder gently, and tore her away from me.
“Go and get some rest,” he advised.
“Han Kyung, the doctors said that he won’t last,” she tore herself from the grip that Han Kyung placed on her.
“Did you make the mental preparation?” Han Kyung asked.
“Jun Su, yah! JUN SU. Please don’t leave me alone. I still love you,” she said panicky and cried nonstop.
How can I leave you?
She shook me so hard and then, collapsed in fatigue. She had been sleepless for a few days continuously. Han Kyung quickly carried her off and that was the last time, I had ever see Han Kyung. He must have been very angry at me, for not even visiting me. He must have been angry at me for breaking my promise on not making her cry a single tear and yet, tears marked every steps of our marriage.
Han Kyung, please help her.
I beg of you.
Her visit had been less frequent and yet, brought much needed tranquility to me. However, one day, she came back.
“I am sorry. Han Kyung placed restraint on me. He said that I needed to get my health back at least to visit you, he made a big deal even with my parents,” she said with a laugh.
I tried to laugh at the mirthless humour.
She pushed me aside from the bed that I occupy and then, slept next to me. She traced my eyebrows with her fingers.
Her fingers.
I could see the bony fingers and the protrusions of her wrist.
“We always slept through morning together in the bed. I wished that I had agreed to build the soccer team with you. At least, a kid will remind me of you,” she whispered.
She ended the visit just with that sentence and said her byes.
I still can’t leave yet.
Let me at least see her smiling first.
Please God
I just want more time,
please.
Please God
I just want more time,
please.
He was sleeping in the bed as usual. How I wished that he was being lazy again.
“Morning, Jun Su,” I chipped.
He didn’t nod or replied as he usual did. I smiled warily.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” I said while shaking the apple to show him what I had brought to visit him that day.
I took a fruit knife on the bed and started peeling the skin out.
“Do you know that there was a legend saying that if you peel an apple in one go at exactly midnight in front of the mirror, you will see your future husband?” I said while peeling carefully while concentrating at the alternating strips of reds and white on the apple.
I held my head down and a tear dropped onto the apple. I hoped that he didn’t notice that.
“I had tried and I didn’t see you,” I said with a laugh.
He didn’t notice at all.
I raised him up slowly and then, took off his top. I leaned him back against the upraised pillow and ran to the small bucket with lukewarm water. I gathered the towel and wet it. I squeezed every bit of moisture out of the towel and ran back to Jun Su. I wiped gently and realized that his back was a bit oily due to the collection of his sweat.
I wiped the traces of oil away and with his back cleaned; I leaned against his body and heard his heartbeat, in steady rhythm. When I was fairly satisfy hugging his back, I jumped out of the bed and pushed the wheel chair to the bed. I tried to hold him up and struggled under his weight. In the end, I had to place him rather roughly on the chair.
“I am sorry, Jun Su,” I said as I realized that I wasn’t strong enough to hold on to him.
I am scared that one day, my love for him will wane.
He must wake up before that happens.
I leaned forward and got closer to him and peeked lightly on his lips. His lips still remained the same. I smiled and blushed at him.
“It looked like I was taking advantage of you when in the beginning it was you who had taken advantage of me,” I said.
He didn’t respond. I turned around to mask the disappointment on my face.
“Do you remember this day, exactly five years ago?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer me.
“Jun Su, I love you,” I said.
He won’t last. That was what the doctors told me. I am going mad.
Didn’t you promise me that you will be there for me forever?
I looked at him, at his steady rising chest.
Don’t you dare to break your promise.
How I wished that we can return to our mornings together. We will face one another and talked about anything under the sun. I had forgotten what we had talked about but I remembered the smile you gave me, the gentle face you had on when you brushed my hair aside, the pinching of my cheek whenever you are irritated by me.
Don’t go away, Jun Su. I still need you.
Han Kyung tapped my shoulder gently, and tore me away from him.
“Go and get some rest,” he advised.
“Han Kyung, the doctors said that he won’t last,” I said as I tore myself from the grip that Han Kyung placed on me.
“Did you make the mental preparation?” Han Kyung asked.
“Jun Su, yah! JUN SU. Please don’t leave me alone. I still love you,” I said panicky and cried nonstop.
I shook him so hard and then,
Jun Su ….
collapsed in fear.
I banged on the door so hard that, my palm was all red. I banged endlessly while calling out to someone to free me.
“HAN KYUNG! Let me out,” I bellowed.
I knew he was near by. I continued banging even though I knew that my cries are going to land on deaf ear.
“Mom, please let me out. I am not doing anything wrong,” I pleaded as I collapsed helplessly onto the floor with the aid of the gravity.
He might die anytime soon.
I want to see him so badly.
Please let me see him.
“He is ok, Li Yin. I called the hospital yet. He is still alive,” my mom whispered through the door.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes, dear. Please eat up or sleep. My heart ached watching you like this,” came a gentle voice.
“Mum, do you think you could let me out?” I asked.
I traced his eyebrows with my finger. It was still having the mountain shape that I always adored. There will always two mountains on his forehead.
I smiled warily.
I had traced his eyebrows when he threatened that I had to provide him a soccer team to play around. I quickly withdrew my fingers when I heard that and immediately pouted.
How I wished he can ask me that now.
I will say yes.
I think I am going to cry again. Quickly, I jumped off the bed and left him there.
Don’t take him away from me.
I don’t think I can breath without him.
Please God
I just want more time,
please.
